ACK! What a funk I've been in!
But today I started looking for online information about menopause and perimenopause and I feel hopeful.
I thought I could slay this dragon alone, but I was mistaken because this dragon is beating the shit out of me.
I am happy though to say I am not beating the shit out of family and friends.
I just beat myself up and I am damn good at it.
I have hit an all-time low in poor self-image [that's me being kind to myself].
Pretty much, most of my days are spent amazed at the colossal failure I am...when I'm not doubled over in pain from adolescant-style menstrual cramps or spending days no further than 20 feet from my home bathroom.
So, it felt helpful finding a forum on webmd.com, even though it's not very active. I am going to read all the past posts and get what I can from it and I am going to have to accept that I may just have to change the name of this blog to aperimenopauseblog.
(No, I won't do that but it's a thought.)
Anyway, this is the first time I have dared trying to write out my thoughts (I didn't want to terrify any visitors that may drop in).
Now I am going to go back to the forum and see what they've got.
And btw, if anyone out there knows of other forums for perimenopausal or menopausal women, I would absolutely love the information.
Until next time.
posted by aWoman'sBlog @ 1:44 PM
16 comments
16 Comments:
I lost my ovaries due to endometriosis, had had my uterus removed before that, and know what you mean by menopause beating the life out of you. I saw dark shadows everywhere, even told my husband that.
The good news is that your body does adjust after time. I'm happy to live free of womanly monthly woes and the hot flashes have decreased dramatically.
My family has a high risk for breast cancer and the low hormones in my body actually help protect me from that.
Make sure you have a good calcium supplement or have enough calcium in your diet as you go through this.
By the way, you're very beautiful inside and out and always will be. :D
Hugs, JJ
It's good to hear from you again! I figured you were busy with other things, and I'm very sorry about the funk. I'm glad you're connecting with others online for support. Do you have any local support networks? You take care!
Wow JJ: What a sigh of relief your post brought me although it was sad too for what you went through. That must have been terrible. How did you get through it?
My mom had her uterus removed and my grandmother died from complications in a hysterectomy (long before my mother was a teen). I say these things because I don’t know too much about the process of going through the beginning stages of menopause and just recently accepted that that’s what all these night sweats are about and that’s what my cranky cronish mood may be about too. (Argh!)
When you wrote, “I saw dark shadows everywhere,” that’s when I breathed. It really does feel like it’s beating the life out of me. I’m glad you have taken necessary measures to protect yourself from the very dangerous medical risks of women’s aging. That must have been enough to scare you to death but you’ve obviously got a lot of courage.
Thanks for sharing your story. It is difficult to admit that it gives me comfort, because the way it could sound. But what I mean is that it’s so refreshing to share with other women about these things.
I’ve been looking on the web, as I mentioned below, for support groups et al. I also have osteopenia, which is early-stage osteoporosis in addition to heavy menstrual bleeding, which has caused anemia several times.
I’m not use to being so low-energy. It’s a real kick in the behind. I do take Calcium with D (when I remember as I’m a terrible pill taker/always forget) and iron supplements. Your comment though will help me to remember. And again, so glad you’re healthy and here to share what you know.
It’s so nice to have you visit my blog. I am blessed.
Hi roller coaster teacher: Yes, one of the things I’m looking into is local real-life support groups or something of that nature. I’ve got something that is a “lifechange” group that may be useful.
I thought I could do this on my own, just keep it under wraps type of thing…but it is getting too tough to handle.
I need to hear from other women who have been through it or who are going through it or who just have studied it.
Thanks for responding and it is so nice to hear from you again too. Best of luck on your new life phase. It sounds both exciting and challenging at the same time.
Also, good luck on your new school year:)
BTW, JJ and roller coaster: Do you mind if I add your blogs to my "links" field?
I was just coming to ask to join your blog link to mine. Let's do it!!! It's easier to visit that way too.
I have found a peace-of-mind after menopause and don't feel so *insane* with lower hormones. My main worry after losing my womanly parts was if I would still feel like a woman. I am more attractive to my husband than ever. All that's gone are those moody cycles that made me want to howl at the moon. :D
On top of all that I just had my 6th breast lump removed. They have all been benign. My mother and grandmother and aunts have had breast cancer so each lump is scary as old heck. This last one was a lipoma. You can see why I don't mind the low hormones because some breast cancers are estrogen driven.
I'll link you now and hope you find good support groups.
Have a super day!!!
Big Hugs, JJ
Great! It’s done! And yes, it will be easier to visit that way too.
Your comments about decreased hormones and its more positive outlook is encouraging. I think some of what is disturbing me is the idea that I’ve been getting through some of my reading is that it is worse after menopause.
I always thought I would be a happier woman with less estrogen but others seem to have a more difficult time.
(Unless I’m reading wrong…lately my comprehension skills is actually taking a hit…thus current difficulties in school too but I’ll save that for another blog entry….)
That must be scary to have all the breast cancer worries.
I think I would collapse. How do you stay motivated? Hopeful? In the face of all that fear?
It is of course so so good that each has been benign but how do you cope through the waiting period before you know?
Swinging by to say hi!!!
We had a bad storm this morning but we needed the rain. :D It's a pleasant part of the summer. Yesterday DH and I visited the park.
Hugs, JJ
I stay motivated by finding things that fascinate me to keep me pumped up. :D
I have a few memory glitches but nothing drastic and I joke about it.
I had my results back and it was benign again. I've lucked out 6 times. I must say, I was afraid of the number 6.
Hugs, Nancy
I've blog tagged you. :D
Good morning!!!
JJ
The memory glitches are getting to me. (Sorry haven’t been around much lately). I’ve been in another one of those hibernating phases. I seem to need those more often these days. They work well for me as I seem to be my own best healer.
Of course, though, that doesn’t work for physical ailments. I must commend you in that I have been amazingly healthy throughout my life. I am a very fortunate woman. When I get ill, I get very isolationist and scared. It always shocks me and I’m talking about minor illnesses.
I can’t imagine what it must be like to have something so serious. (Well, I did have laser surgery for dysplasia years ago but that was minor compared to what you’re talking about.)
I think though what I’m really trying to say, and probably failing miserably, is that I don’t know much how to write about physical illness, I don’t know what to do when someone is dealing with grave illness. You must be very strong.
The more you go through, the stronger you get. Sometimes it's taking it one minute at a time, like during a kidney stone on the move. I always compare my illnesses to that and even the broken arm last Christmas Eve doesn't compare.
I'm a lot like you and would rather have quiet, actually most of the time. The writing blossomed from my awareness to the beauty of my surroundings, which I use to rush by. :D
Have a great Labor Day!!! We have a beautiful sunny one.
Hugs, JJ
I just came across this blog and I am so excited to read about others who are trying to find a way to deal with menopause without adding estrogen. I had a complete hysterectomy 2 yrs ago exactly because of abnormal pap smears, but the bad news is I just had another abnormal pap even though I thought my surgery would take care of it, my gyno said it might still work itself, and will go in again in November, he did do a colpscopy to ensure me that it is low grade, but I took myself off estrodial because of this and I am getting some "warmth" after doing some reading I am thinking I should stay away from soy supplements too! I have a friend that was just diagnosed with Hormonal caused breast cancer, and has some spots in her brain and liver too! so needless WE as women are our best educators and if you have any suggestions or input. thank you I am enclosing my email address too.stanis@peoplepc.com
There is several books out that I have read that explain alot. One from Dr John Lee "what your dr never told you about menopause" and one that I just started to read on breast cancer, "The breast cancer prevention diet" by dr bob arnot. Which is very helpful, the estrogen we put into our bodies everyday would surprise us all!
Dear hot!hot!:
It’s so nice to have new visitors and about such an important topic. What you have been through sounds so frightening. I’m so sorry to hear about your successive abnormal pap. That must be so discouraging.
I hope your gyno is right about it working itself out. I have experienced medical issues that have worked themselves out but I can’t pretend to understand what it would be like to have a hysterectomy to then get another abnormal result.
I am just learning about the effects, both positive and negative, around hormone replacement therapies. I’m no expert in any of this and I surely have not been through what you and JJ have been through.
I did have dysplasia (sp) and after laser surgery, I’ve always had normal paps. I am counting myself extremely lucky and trying not to feel like a big whining crying baby, considering both of your experiences.
At this point, all I’m dealing with is radical emotions that seem to color my world in ways they’ve never been colored.
Thank you for the book references. If there’s one thing I overspend on, it’s books and so I’m going to hop on over to Amazon after I finish some trades, which is what I’m trying to learn to do for a new career.
After that I will hop over to your site and again, it's so nice to have you on board♥
Dear JJ:
I know you’re right and would say I was very much raised the way you describe, by the teachings that are: the more you go through, the stronger you get. I must admit that part of what I’m struggling with so much is that this learning seems to be part of what’s bothering me in that though I have been through a good deal in my life, at this age I am feeling like I’m not stronger—but getting weaker. This scares the hell out of me.
On the other hand, it’s probably just emotions and so that’s why this topic is healthy for me. Thanks again for your responses and wonderful insight.
As always, it's so good to hear from you. I'll stop by your site after I finish up a few loose ends I need to take care of♥
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