A Blogger's Rant

I don’t know how to do so many things. But how can this still be? I’m nearly 50 years old, I’m menopausal, have done a ton of things that impressed all kinds of people (and infuriated more), but still I just want to lie down and cry a river sometimes. I became tired of crying and for a while I didn’t cry anymore, but these days for some reason I just want to luxuriate in an ocean of tears again. That I feel this way now confuses me. I really have a wonderful life. I don’t understand this feeling. I’m going to try to blog it out of myself and maybe by the end of my blogging days, I’ll know a thing or two.

But even the thought of blogs scare me. Yesterday I had to look for an old story I wrote and I thought I wrote it in one of my old blogs. Looking for it made me cry. I have tried so many times, created some very nice sites but they’re all dead. They’re each dead for their own reasons, which I don’t want to get into right now, but their nonexistence made me feel like I have wasted so much time, like writing is such a waste of time; why is it I only want to do something that is such a waste of time?

Maybe if I luxuriate in some tears, I will know but for now, I’m just going to post another rant.