Today I was talking to my 24-year-old daughter

about the movements and rhythms of creativity. She described them so well. People who are not like me do not understand why I need time to feel these movements. I need to find people who are like me and her. My life has been full of people who think I’m all wrongheaded about the way to be. There are many ways to be and I need to find people who understand the creative process.

It reminds me of Sam. She was a jeweler and I thought she understood. Well, she understood to some degree, for herself. But would go ape shit when I needed to spend so much time sitting at the window in the café writing. I stopped going to the café when I moved in with *Jake* because he “suggested” it repeatedly, over and over again. Like all his other suggestions that were really demands, commands.

I loved him too much. I couldn’t hear my own voice anymore and was trying to get it back. I guess I’ll opt for it now though because living lost like that was killing me. I’d rather live without him and be able to hear my own sensibilities. It was crazy and he just doesn’t get it, well, unless of course this is all just a ruse and it’s the normal reason for someone to break it off….

Geez, a lifetime sure goes by fast these days.

He has no clue what I've been doing and what I was trying to plan. No clue because I think he's deaf in his heart.