I thought the man I knew for years

loved me but all of a sudden he’s just done with me, sick of me, or something. I would have never moved in here if I didn't hope to believe his promises: that he is different, not like the other guys. LOL

Of course there are logical reasons, "bad things I did," like I didn’t help him the right way with his work issues.

But what about the promise of a lifetime of love? I was trying to organize a new way to help him, with the knowledge I have, but it wasn’t as easy as he believed it should be; he couldn't hear what I was saying. I’m sad but I hate him too for breaking his promise to me. The promise he told me over and over and over again. I hate him.

He encourages me in one breath but in the next he denigrates everything about it, every idea I have in my own field. But it’s just because he doesn’t know and too often, already, I have done my art job or papers his way and each time, it is wrong. Why does he think he’s right all the time.

Why doesn’t he really trust that I know what I do know. It’s confusing. He hates my art, he's always saying things that prove he thinks it's just a waste of time. He insists that all he’s ever done is encourage me but my confidence is about ankle high because he’s always telling me how I’m not thinking right and I can't just sit around all day doing what I was trained to do because it's not making any money yet.

Then he want's me to act for his potential client that he's like all yah, really cool into art, a real art appreciator. He's a fraud and though I've done a lot to support and encourage his aspirations, he has been beating my soul down regarding mine.

He won't say that though. He's the one who insisted I do school--his way! Of course, everything has to be done his way because he has to "save me from [myself]." I fucking hate him. Funny how he never did this the seven years I knew him before I gave it up to him. I HATE HIM!

But he tells himself whatever he wants to tell himself--I don't have to listen anymore and sometimes, even, I'm happy for the prospects of regaining my own self-worth.

And I'm so glad I didn’t believe him enough to marry that fraud--divorce is such a drag--just another consumer product that is marketed and sold to the unaware masses.

Funny thing is I hope that after I'm long gone he gets responses from the stuff I did get out for him and makes lots of money and he can kick himself in his fucking ass. And that was me just getting started.