Life Questions

I have found throughout my life that the road to what is typically considered vices, was the most difficult road I had taken and which I still laboriously travel.

It took me years and years to become human, indulgent.

It took me years to allow myself pleasure. I still am not there yet.

I easily conformed to the status quo of what is seen as morality.

(definition of morality in this context: the 'right' way women are supposed to live and be but which is not applied to men.)

I was effortlessly molded into forms for the pleasure of others.

It was easy to behave according to other peoples’ perception as to what was proper.

(Those ideals regarding what the collective expected of me were typically not very moral at all.)

It took me years to rebuke those judgments, on the road to vice; it has been a lifelong struggle to learn to be brave enough to act ‘immorally.’

My biggest Life Question is how to ignore idealisms constructed of implausible notions and alternative realities.

It is about consciously retaining what actually does or could exist or happen in real life.

My main Life Question at this time is how to sift through and retain reality as it is—as opposed to invented romanticized notions.

In facing illusions I must see what is sincere, realistic. In facing illusions I must admit what is true, what is genuine, authentic, existent and real.

I can get caught up in futility and don’t move forward because it is difficult to see clearly.

I have been dazed by what supposed realisms seemed to offer only to discover, after a long journey to get there, only to find nothing real.

I sometimes listen to idealism. I sometimes aspire to achieve perfection as an attainable goal.

I sometimes give too much credence to beliefs that material things are imaginary as if they’re only a construction of my mind.

I sometimes listen to the words people speak rather than what’s behind the words.

Sometimes my Life Question is as simple as accepting that there are views that appear to be one thing when, in fact, they’re another.

Completeness is nurtured though when I appreciate wherever I am and pardon myself while staying conscious of false impressions.

Wholeness is nurtured when I accept where I am and forgive myself and become aware of the fantasy—then proceed to consciously lift the veils to the experience of my reality.

Fullness is fostered when I accept where I am and forgive myself and remain conscious of illusion.

Seeing the reality behind illusion is what brings me to wholeness and completeness, which begins to lay the groundwork to explore other Life Questions.